The ’90s Nostalgia Project: Matilda

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Hi again!  I swear you all will actually get another Canada post one of these days, but unfortunately not until my life calms down again.  Which, if I’m lucky, will be after this Friday, but we’ll see.  I’m not promising anything.

In the meantime, though, I’ve been busily livetweeting, and this time I’m here to bring you my tweet recap of Matilda!  Without further ado:

  • ah yes, hyper-closeup on a baby’s face, exactly how I wanted to start things off
  • tbh same tho
  • how is this kid so expressive
  • I feel like I’m watching The Sopranos by way of Arrested Development
  • god the cinematography in this movie though
  • all the overhead shots combined with the omniscient narrator, *damn*
  • k but why do I get the feeling Gaston would turn out very much like Mr. Wormwood
  • y’all, THIS LIBRARY. I’m dying it’s so beautiful
  • I want this chair.
  • so wait the time jump just happened and she’s like eight or nine now but she still goes to the library during the day?
  • is this kid literally homeschooling herself?
  • god I just. I have no words for how horrendous the rest of the Wormwoods are.
  • THAT’S RIGHT, KIDDO, YOU TELL ‘EM
  • oh my god. she’s about to blow this joint omg I love her so much
  • dear god what is that Ninja Turtles mask Zinnia is wearing
  • I paused at exactly the right moment
  • wait why is Matilda going with them for a change
  • oh god I just figured out who Harry Wormwood reminds me of. oh god.
  • let’s just leave that there.
  • anyway, Donald Wormwood is at his car dealership showing Barron whatsisface and poor undeserving Matilda the Art of the Steel or w/e
  • I’m pretty sure half the stuff he’s doing to these heaps of garbage would make them explode
  • well, that gives “hat trick” a whole different meaning
  • wait am I seriously hearing the rules of this fictional game show right
  • that’s lowkey gross af. anyway, moving on.
  • “Moby what?” oh my god
  • getting highkey Clockwork Orange vibes from this TV-watching scene and I’m so sure that’s on purpose
  • ………………………..totally forgot Matilda was telekinetic. whoops.
  • oh christ please miss me with the “we only use a tiny portion of our brains” thing
  • can you believe ppl still use that trope. wow. (looking at you, Lucy and Limitless)
  • a wild Ms. Trunchbull appears
  • “they’re all mistakes, children… glad I never was one.” Agatha Trunchbull, confirmed cryptid
  • Lavender is a lil cutie and I want to adopt both her and Matilda
  • Trunchbull went to the Jaime Lannister school of disciplining kids
  • k but how does Hortensia have all this time for a backstory dump when the Trunch is going all Patton on everyone
  • ……………….super not appreciating the butch-coding with Trunchbull.
  • oh dear lord this is literally the school from Hard Times I can’t.
  • I’ve been getting Dickensian vibes from this whole movie and just now realized it
  • also, tonally, this movie is a perfect counterpart to A Series of Unfortunate Events
  • (which, incidentally, I got Dickensian vibes from before I’d ever read Dickens)
  • oh hell-LO THERE MISS HONEY
  • being Miss Honey in Crunchem is a perfect metaphor for being a teacher at all in the state of Oklahoma tbh
  • I’m amazed any classroom has windows in a place like Crunchem
  • I love how Matilda starts to answer that one multiplication problem and then starts mumbling halfway through when ppl notice her
  • Miss Honey is the only person besides Harry Potter himself who can actually pull off giant round Harry Potter glasses
  • you can tell this movie was made a while ago bc nobody whips out their phone to check Matilda’s multiplication
  • “what do you like to read?”
    “everything.”
    k move over Miss Honey I’m adopting her
  • (or, y’know, we could co-parent… I’d be more than okay with that…)
  • okay Matilda just name-dropped Charles Dickens. Roald Dahl knew exactly what he was doing lmao
  • ugh fr Miss Honey’s soft voice is a Problem
  • Miss Honey is so much braver than I am, I absolutely would not have knocked on Trunchbull’s door if I’d heard those sounds from her office
  • it’s fine, it’s fine, I’m sure she’s just playing Grand Theft Auto
  • UM HOW IS THIS ACCEPTABLE
  • new hypothesis: this movie is set in an alternate near-future where Betsy DeVos has already gutted the Department of Education
  • also how did the set designers get ahold of so many school pictures for this what were those conversations like
  • “hey can I use your kid’s school picture in my movie”
    “sure, for what?”
    “the villain throwing darts at it”
    “…………..”
  • wait hold on the kid playing Michael looks like the kid who plays young Wilson Fisk in Daredevil.
  • no way it’s the same kid, but that’s hysterical
  • DRAG HIM, MISS HONEY
  • for real how is it that Harry was humiliated by bleached hair but will answer the door while clearly in the middle of a dye job
  • SAME
  • when a Dump Truck supporter says some ignorant sh*t
  • when you realize the Wormwoods definitely would have voted for Dump Truck
  • when you realize Dump Truck definitely would have picked Agatha Trunchbull for Secretary of Education over even Betsy DeVos
  • “don’t sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood.”
    oh my god I hate that this movie is still so relevant wtfffffffffff
  • the Wormwoods’ house looks like the set of the Addams Family
  • which, fun fact, was pink in order to look the right shade of gray on camera
  • I’m not kidding
  • “well it’s hard for me to remember a specific cake” and just like that, Bruce Bogtrotter became one of my favorite characters
  • “my mom’s is better” HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • this is some book-Harry-Potter level sass right here and I am LIVING
  • on this episode of “I paused at exactly the right moment”
  • that is a, uh, bizarre idea of punishment you have there, Trunchy
  • okay yeah I definitely will not be able to eat chocolate cake for a while
  • PLOT TWIST
  • THE PEOPLE UNITED WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED
  • actual footage of how well the inquiry appears to be going
  • lawl the scene where Trunchbull is coming to Miss Honey’s classroom is so very School of Rock I can’t
  • ah yes, schools with no children, just like health insurance that doesn’t cover any health-related matters at all
  • okay I’ll stop, that’s not fair, would have covered Viagra and hair implants and all stress injuries brought on by excessive golf
  • (k I’m really done now)
  • the whole class is subtweeting the hell out of Trunchbull with that poem and I am living
  • wait okay why has Trunchbull apparently not noticed that Matilda has mysteriously teleported from the Choker thingy to that classroom
  • that poor newt, ewwwww
  • sacrificial newt
  • (god that tweet would look weird out of context)
  • The Help (2011)
  • ooooooooooh Matilda, girlfran, you’ve got some nerve raising your hand rn
  • she’d better deliver the smackdown of the century
  • “why is there a swing [outside Trunchbull’s house]?” that’s my girl, always asking the real questions
  • OH GOD I CAN’T WITH THIS MISS HONEY BACKSTORY
  • me
  • wait ok are they using the same tiny child for young Miss Honey as they did for young Matilda?
  • Miss Honey’s rent is $50 a month??????? ūüėęūüėęūüėę foh
  • I love this episode of Tiny House Hunters
  • “I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of” – sweetpea you literally just saw her do the newt lambada
  • that is not a particularly good hedge through which to spy on Trunchbull
  • that’s really not even a hedge
  • well this is, uh………. definitely some kind of look.
  • the belt. what is with the belt.
  • is it specially designed to keep all the bats inside her
  • are there spells worked into the leather to keep her from metamorphosing back into one of the Old Gods
  • I swear to God, Trenchfoot, if you touch that cat I will reach through my laptop screen and string you up by that beloved belt of yours
  • Matilda is so down for casual breaking and entering this is great
  • chaotic good
  • k back up, did Matilda pick the lock with her mind or did Trenchfoot leave it unlocked?
  • grudgingly impressed at Trunchbull’s ability to deadlift half her car’s weight
  • how in the snot did they not hear Trunchbull on the front drive
  • okay NOW they hear her
  • um, surely there’s a way out that doesn’t involve sneaking through the giant open entry hall
  • oh, NOW you mention the kitchen door? thanks, Miss Honey, that would have been great to know thirty seconds ago
  • dear god, Trunch, surely there are more effective ways to flush out an intruder than Hulksmashing your entire house
  • holy cannoli this is tense
  • UM, OKAY, I’M PRETTY SURE MISS HONEY AND MATILDA JUST WALKED INTO A LITERAL MURDER BASEMENT
  • THIS IS FINE
  • “just wait till she leaves, then we’ll go get your doll”
    “WHAT?”
    “just kidding.”
    Matilda you lil snarkmonster I love you
  • oh my dear sweet baby jesus one of the FBI agents looks like Stephen Miller
  • HA YES SLAM THAT DOOR IN HIS SMUG FACE
  • this sequence is better than any superhero training montage ever sorry I don’t make the rules
  • it just occurred to me that I haven’t seen her brother for the past half-hour, at least
  • spoke too soon
  • ah yes the rarely executed Reverse Carrot
  • oh yes pls tell me Matilda is about to Reverse Carrot the hell out of Trunchbull
  • okay well rescuing Lissie-doll Chamber-of-Secrets style is almost as good
  • omg. this is ARTFUL trolling
  • and Matilda is the most chaotic good to ever chaotic good
  • AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED YOU’RE JUST ANOTHER PICTURE TO BURN
  • (definitely had to look up the lyrics for that)
  • oh no OH NO NOT THE RIBBON
  • just gonna leave this here
  • k but for real has somebody done a comparative analysis of femininity in Matilda and Carrie because I’d read the hell out of that article
  • OH MY GOD some kid just called Trunchbull “sir” this situation is about to escalate extremely quickly
  • here’s a novel idea for you, Trunchbull, people can do different stuff with their hair on different days
  • that red ribbon schtick is just flimsy evidence. inadmissible.
  • OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING IT’S HAPPENING
  • THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL, FOLKS
  • or, um, the chalkboard. same diff.
  • I’m surprised they’re not making more of the possible murder plotline, though. like what evidence do we have that Trunchbull killed Magnus?
  • beyond, that is, her eternally sunny disposition.
  • which they have taken great pains to emphasize.
  • Trunchbull hasn’t been shown as greedy, at least not that I saw. just unbelievably cruel.
  • so if she did kill Magnus, did she literally only off him so that she could torture Miss Honey with impunity?
  • I’m confused.
  • so wait is she dead
  • did that belt finally choke the life out of her or
  • nope. not dead. definitely not dead.
  • YOU SPIN MY HEAD RIGHT ROUND RIGHT ROUND
  • k as cathartic as this complete humiliation of Trunchbull is, I hope the movie has an equally devastating dragging coming for the Wormwoods
  • tag yourself I’m the girl with the glasses who’s all like “just try, I dare you”
  • I also have complicated thoughts about how food and weight are gendered in this movie
  • what do you want to bet Matilda did the bulk of Miss Honey’s redecorating for her
  • oh wonderful, here come the rest of the Wormwoods. please please please summarily humiliate them, Matilda
  • GOD BLESS YOU MISS HONEY
  • also I’m just lmaoing at “permanent vacation to Guam”
  • Matilda how on earth did you get ADOPTION PAPERS from a book in the library
  • it’d be one thing if you had Googled them, but sheesh
  • wait, they just got off relatively scot-free like that? come ON
  • ……………….hold up.
  • moral of the story: having fun isn’t hard when you have a library card
  • and I have Thoughts(TM) about the narrative purposes of Matilda’s powers and the gendering of food and stuff but those will come later
  • MMMPH I JUST REALIZED they totally dropped the murder plot thread. there was nothing about it after Trunchbull’s humiliation

Whoosh, there you have it!  I’ll be back with more Buffy soon-ish.  Till then:

The ’90s Nostalgia Project: Whitney Livetweets the Buffy S1 Finale

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Once again, y’all are going to get a livetweet masterpost rather than a Canada update, because I’ve been swamped with work.  Here, then, is my livetweet of “Prophecy Girl”:

  • yall I know it’s a ridiculous time of night to be doing this but guess what??? more Buffy livetweeting!!!
  • only one ep tonight, that’s all I got time for, but still
  • tonight I’m tackling the S1 finale whoo boy
  • k so apparently Buffy and Angel have already smooched, duly noted
  • wait who’s this tiny kid
  • also Giles is looking for a super particular vampire almanac and Angel’s like “I’ll interlibrary loan it for you bro”
  • (and that’s what I missed on Buffy!)
  • we open on the Bronze, and tbh I’m having to suspend so much disbelief about this club being a real thing
  • vampires, sure. teenagers who actually go to a legit club?? does that happen????
  • oh christ who’s Xander confessing his undying love to
  • oh god poor Willow
  • (although……… Willow, babe, ilu but WHY are you wearing that dog collar like I know this is the ’90s but sheeeeeesh)
  • GOD, XANDER, WHY. DO NOT.
  • “what’s Buffy doing?” besides avoiding your unimpressive self, you mean?
  • k why does that vampire growl like the tiger noise at every Broken Arrow football game ever
  • is this episode the origin story of man door hand hook whatever?
  • AW YEAH STAKES ARE OUT BUFFY’S JUST LIKE “COME AT ME BRO I DARE YOU”
  • those punching noises sounded weirdly hollow
  • wait whoa does Giles literally live at the school
  • um pls tell me that at some point in the series, characters reading to themselves backfires hardcore and they accidentally summon a demon
  • don’t worry, Giles, I’m sure that vibration is just due to the crapton of fault lines in California
  • (side note, where in California *is* Sunnydale?)
  • oh ok that’s actually one doozy of an earthquake
  • NOT THE LIBRARY
  • good lord is the Master always this melodramatic or does he just have the world’s worst case of cabin fever
  • brief theme song interlude
  • Gilesssssssss you are a mess
  • ugh hang on my wifi went out again, pls hold for technical difficulties
  • JUST TELL HER YOU KNOB
  • I choose to believe that Willow is purposely sabotaging Xander by being an exceptionally bad liar here
  • lord I can smell the secondhand embarrassment a mile away. I need to take a moment, hang on
  • right I’ve got some chips and very garlicky salsa, let’s endure this scene
  • “hey. leave.” XANDER YOU INCONSIDERATE TOENAIL
  • oh my god he’s gonna say the mating thing isn’t he.
  • when you know you’re about to screw up royally but you just can’t stop yourself from running your mouth
  • ok he didn’t say the mating thing. thank god.
  • “Willow’s not looking to date you. Or if it is, she’s playing it pretty close to the chest.” oh m y g o d
  • I Cannot Believe the first gay joke on this show was from f***ing XANDER
  • relatable
  • XANDER IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR FOOL MOUTH RIGHT THIS INSTANT
  • “look, I’m sorry, I don’t handle rejection well” – I’m screaming???? did he actually just say that????????
  • god in heaven I do not understand how Buffy didn’t smack him down right then and there
  • oh this is agony
  • ugh pls miss me with the sad piano music
  • oh my god an actual phone with a cord! just like the one we still have at home
  • UM WHY DID NONE OF YOU TELL ME JENNY CALENDAR IS (1) A TOTAL BABE AND (2) EXACTLY MY TYPE
  • does she always open conversations by lovingly dragging people omg I adore her already
  • god, I didn’t realize till just now how Not A Thing the phrase “surfing the net” is anymore
  • Cordelia what are you going to do to Willow
  • a bit of subliminal messaging here
  • YES WILLOW TELL HIM WHAT’S UP
  • also Willow’s puppy eyes have me WEAK
  • yay creepy choir echoes
  • oh SH
  • LITERAL CRICKETS IN THE BACKGROUND when Buffy overhears the prophecy, I’m dead y’all
  • Buffy oh my god I’m emotional
  • she just went all ending-of-Order-of-the-Phoenix on him I
  • *wailing*
  • k now you can *not* miss me with the sad piano music
  • uh, no, my room totally doesn’t look a thing like this why would you possibly think that
  • (ARGH the lengths I go to in order to keep my reflection out of these but my nose still made it in)
  • oh hi Joyce, my favorite TV mom
  • ok but this Cordelia bit is actually uncomfortably
  • I’m just gonna guess they’ll walk in and the boys will be gruesomely dead
  • oh wow that is one hell of a shot
  • why is Buffy like the only person who has ever looked good in an empire-waist dress
  • that’s honestly not even fair
  • WILLOW MY CHILD
  • give her a damn hug ya monster
  • it’s such a shame because I know what happens to Jenny and I’m trying not to get attached but damn it
  • “Buffy’s not going to face the Master, I am.” uh?
  • armed with what, Giles, your stellar fashion sense? or do you actually know how to use those swords for something other than paper cutting?
  • omg my bby’s embracing her destiny and going to h*ck up monsters I’m so proud
  • SHE JUST STRAIGHT UP DECKED GILES
  • ok but do we have this iconic Slayer to blame for the preponderance of ballgowns on YA book covers? genuine question
  • Buffy, don’t trust the damn kid, remember The Shining?
  • same, Jenny
  • the eternal Dealing With Xander Harris face
  • is that thing like…………. a trident AND a crossbow?
  • this conversation between Angel and Xander feels like the literal entire reason the Bechdel Test was developed
  • it’s like not even a Bechdel Test fail……….. it’s more like a reverse Bechdel pass
  • and honestly I’m not here for it, k, let’s move on
  • how did Angel not sense the giant cross before Xander shoved it in his face?
  • “at the end of the day, I pretty much think you’re a vampire.”
  • “you’re in love with her.”
    “aren’t you?”
    LITERAL FRUSTRATED SCREECH
  • please let this scene be over soon oh my god
  • man, I can’t imagine how much faster this research process would go with Google Maps and ProQuest
  • good move, Buffy, waiting till the kid is out of sight to move
  • “thanks for having me” – ICONIQUE
  • dude looks like an overgrown finger who spent too much time under a bandaid
  • there was no way to avoid the reflection in that one, lawl
  • “oh good, the feeble banter portion of the fight” – brb mad that I didn’t come up with that line first
  • am I really witnessing a vampire No Homo between Angel and Xander rn I swear to god
  • I mean I’m sure everybody thought prom was going to be a metaphorical agonizing bloodbath anyway
  • GET IN THE DAMN CAR, YOU TWO, FAST AND FURIOUS THIS SH*T
  • god help me now I really want a Grand Theft Auto/Walking Dead crossover video game
  • BUFF. YOU CAN DO IT STOP THIS CREEPER FROM BREATHING DOWN YA DAMN NECK
  • NOT WHAT I MEANT
  • LITERALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I MEANT
  • for real though I feel like Joel Schumacher took all of his aesthetic inspiration from this episode and none of the feminism
  • also I paused the video at the exact right moment and I can’t stop laughing
  • oh great
  • if either one of those patriarchal MFs is the one to “save” Buffy I’m gonna riot
  • oh my god no no no NO NOT THE ICKY CPR TROPE DEAR GOD
  • Xander do you actually know CPR
  • HELL YEAH CORDELIA COMIN IN LIKE VIN DIESEL
  • ugh yeah Xander’s CPR was what resuscitated her end me now pls
  • HOLY REDACTED, CORDELIA JUST DID THAT
  • course, the flip side is that she just punched a giant hole in the school so now the vamps can come in easier. goooooooood job
  • Giles over [here] like “I know they did not just do that”
  • they’re building a barricade and I know this is not the time to snicker about Les Mis but just watch me
  • OKAY WHAT IS THAT PREHENSILE VACUUM TUBE DOING
  • oh god the bite.
  • AW YEAH BUFFY YOU ROCK THAT MURDER WALK
  • walk walk fashion baby
  • I love the super literal take on “game face”
  • WAHOO CORDELIA COMIN IN WITH THE REVERSE BITE LIKE A BAWSE
  • ok no but biting a vampire back is literally the funniest thing I can possibly think of for a vampire story I can’t even deal rn
  • wait did the Sarlacc just burst out of the library floor or what
  • the Master over here clapping like Nicole Kidman at the Oscars
  • “I may be dead but I’m still pretty” – HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • I can’t believe Buffy dusted the Master in eight words
  • I can’t believe Buffy Summers invented the clapback
  • I can’t believe she just clapped him back to the bottom level of hell wow truly
  • Giles over here turning into Paul Bunyan
  • oh dear god why is it that the Master has to look like a literal horde of spiders when he kicks it
  • whoa okay WHY are they just leaving the creepy skeleton in the middle of the library why aren’t they torching that MF
  • dancing to the ending theme music like
  • OKIE DOKE FOLKS that’s all for tonight. the livetweet post should be up sometime tomorrow or Tuesday. sweet dreams, babies~

I’ll be livetweeting more Buffy, starting with season 2, later this week!  Till then…

The ’90s Nostalgia Project: Whitney Livetweets Buffy, Part 1

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And no, that’s not the official title for this project, just the working title.

Sorry, but y’all aren’t getting another Canada post this week; grad school continues to be an absolute circus, and pretty much the only parts of Canada I’ve actually seen this week are my apartment and campus.  But instead, you get a livetweet post!  In honor of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s 20th anniversary, I watched and livetweeted the show’s first two episodes.  Here’s the roundup:

Episode 1:  Welcome to the Hellmouth

  • bruh just from that cheesy title sequence I have chills
  • general rule, if a character asks “are you sure this is a great idea?” it’s not a great idea
  • feel like I’m watching a Grease reboot here
  • HOBOY DANNY ZUKO JUST GOT BITTEN
  • is it just me or is there something super quintessentially ’90s about that overlay filming technique
  • I feel like Xander’s entrance is a perfect metaphor for who he is as a person
  • WILLOW MY LOVE
  • why is burning down the gym on her *transcript* though
  • I cannot believe Buffy was able to finesse her way out of that kind of slip of the tongue… “vampir–asbestos” honestly
  • Xander you are the most transparent ever
  • Buffy not even waiting till she leaves Xander to make a skeptical face
  • oh hi there Cordelia
  • god, Willow is hair goals
  • HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GILES
  • Aphrodisia. oh my god
  • that screaming girl looks like Michelle Obama tho
  • oh my god Xander please shut up
  • wait I can’t believe Starbucks was actually a thing when this first aired???
  • YESSSSSS PULLING LOCKED DOORS OPEN MY QUEEN
  • “a whole big sucking thing”
  • Buffy is a lil fireball and I’m in love already
  • oh hey I didn’t know the Phantom of the Opera moved to Sunnydale after the Daroga kicked his ass
  • aw, I like Joyce
  • K SERIOUSLY HOW DOES BUFFY GET AWAY WITH MISSPEAKING SO MUCH
  • is that one of her Slayer gifts
  • lawl I recognize this scene from the Buffy vs. Edward mashup video
  • HOLY CORE STRENGTH, BATMAN
  • what is with David Boreanaz’s vaguely Southern drawl good lord
  • oh good heavens I’ve seen more dinky warehouses like this in midtown Tulsa than I can count
  • the lead singer of this band is wearing khaki shorts on stage I can’t
  • Willow you are so relatable
  • Buffy is already so protective of Willow ūüė≠ūüė≠ūüė≠
  • retro whooshing noises wheeeeeee
  • Buff, you’re still holding the stake. in the middle of a club.
  • a wild Voldemort appears!–wait no wrong franchise
  • mood marimba ūüėā
  • I can totally see how these special effects would have been amazing at the time, man
  • oh wonderful, Xander and Willow and that other dude just ran into a Twilight fan convention
  • he’s monologuing, Buffy, kick his–dammit
  • k well obviously I have to watch the second episode now

Episode 2:  The Harvest

  • provided, of course, that Netflix loads the wretched thing. ūüôĄ
  • why is this the perfect “waiting for Netflix to load” face though:

  • IT’S STILL LOADING
  • pls hold for technical difficulties
  • AND WE’RE BACK
  • also, a small thing that’s throwing me off: the beating-people-up sounds are actually really soft in these fight sequences
  • have fight sequences just gotten louder in the past twenty years or so? is that a thing?
  • ah yay history with Giles
  • tbh I probably have a whole essay in me about various versions of vampire genesis
  • this whole human-demon-mixing thing is super interesting and I’m excited to see how it’s borne out thematically
  • in contrast to Buffy, Darla has no finesse
  • “they can fly?”
    “they can drive.”
  • I just find it so hilarious that these here Phantoms of the Opera aren’t *sure* Buffy is the Slayer
  • “so yeah that girl I fought was super duper strong.” “she the Slayer?” “dunno, man, the rugby player I ate last week put up a good fight”
  • that computer is pretty sprightly considering it’s running, like, Windows 2000 BC
  • Xander that shirt is atrocious
  • and of course the boy takes EVERYTHING as an attack on his fragile masculinity my god this is already exhausting
  • dude. Buffcakes. at least wait till Flutie is out of sight to jump over the dang fence
  • How to Not Finesse but Still Get Away with Stuff: the show
  • k honestly of the three leads, Willow is the only one who really convincingly Looks Like A High Schooler
  • why is everything Angel is saying so forced ugh
  • hahahahahahaha “suckfest” I see what you did there
  • k another foley thing I don’t get: when characters are sneaking around, why oh WHY must they still have loud footsteps
  • that is not how you Sneak(TM)
  • XANDER YOU COMPLETE MEATHEAD
  • god Xander you are so bad at this sneaking thing
  • this guy looks like someone but I cannot put my finger on who:

  • k good now I can resume the episode, I wasn’t going to move on before figuring that out ūüėā
  • wow whoops sorry folks, was talking with about the eventual essay I’ll write on Buffy ANYWAYS
  • “private discussions”? Cord, honey, you’re talking loudly in a small computer lab
  • WILLOW YOU TRICKSTER ILU
  • oh they vamped him. I bet they vamped him
  • is it part of the vamps’ plan to just shamble around and look menacing?
  • knew it.
  • oh god this tunnel scene is giving me claustrophobia
  • god I just realized these guys sound exactly like monsters from DOOM
  • DRAMATIC ZOOM ON GILES for no reason
  • oh my god there is PIPE ORGAN in this dramatic vampire crypt music
  • they’re really leaning into the Phantom similarities, aren’t they
  • ah cool cool here’s a dramatic and weirdly homoerotic hand kiss moment cool
  • “my blood is your blood, my soul is your soul”
    …………….k like I was joking about the homoerotic bit two seconds ago but now, jeez
  • did I just witness a gay vampire wedding lmao
  • uh wow this just keeps getting gayer
  • cooooooool, Voldemort, I’m sure the ceiling appreciated you shouting your last couple words at it
  • ohhhhhh Joyce, Joyce, Joyce. you have no idea
  • oh no, that poor bouncer
  • oh man I thought he was gonna die
  • oh wait yeah he’s gonna die
  • of cooooooooooooourse the black guy dies first, *yay*
  • ugh
  • is anybody actually around your man cave to hear you yammering on, Voldy?
  • tbh it wouldn’t surprise me if the dude was talking to himself
  • or just to his ceiling again
  • seriously, these vampires have the world’s worst reflexes
  • of all the vampire attributes the Underworld series had to take and run with, they HAD to choose that one
  • K BUT THAT CYMBAL FRISBEE WAS BALLER
  • YES CATCH HIM MONOLOGUING
  • PRIME MISDIRECTION
  • “it’s in about nine hours, moron” – also
  • Angel WHY are you so useless jfc
  • “the Earth is doomed” – oh Giles, never change
  • I gotta say, I’m really glad they basically split a pilot episode in two
  • they did the plot much better justice that way

There you have it!  To recap the rest of what I said on Twitter:  because this is for a class project and time is somewhat of the essence here, I won’t be livetweeting every single episode.  Instead, I’ll Wikipedia my way through season 1 and then eventually come back with seasons 2 and 3–which I also probably won’t have time to livetweet in their entirety, we’ll see.  But there will be more of this coming your way!  In the meantime, keep an eye on Twitter for more updates on this big ol’ project.  Till next time…

An announcement.

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(I’m putting this in a separate post from all the vacation shenanigans because I don’t want it to get buried.)

Because apparently I like making more work for myself than I need, I’m doing another one of those class project things this semester, like I did with¬†Lucy Audley’s Secret. ¬†This time, the class¬†broadly concerns memory studies and issues of cultural memory and nostalgia in the media, and the project… well.

If you know me at all, you probably know how woefully behind on pop culture I am. ¬†You may have even stared at me, dumbfounded, and said, “You didn’t watch that?!”, to which I probably replied, “I basically wasn’t even alive in the ’90s.” ¬†And it’s not entirely an exaggeration, either. ¬†I missed a¬†lot¬†while I was homeschooled. ¬†So with this project, I’m at least putting a dent in the frighteningly long list of Things I Missed in the ’90s. ¬†Over the next few weeks, I’ll be watching¬†Matilda,¬†Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and¬†Groundhog Day, as well as listening to No Doubt’s¬†Tragic Kingdom–and livetweeting everything, so keep an eye on Twitter. ¬†These essays will be posted on a website that is currently under construction. ¬†The ultimate purpose of this project is twofold: ¬†to understand the particular breed of nostalgia that manifests itself among the self-styled ’90s kids, and to make sense of my own childhood and how it’s shaped me.

Now, I actually need your help with one part of this thing: ¬†a title. ¬†I’ve wracked my brain for weeks, and I still cannot come up with a title for the project to save my life. ¬†I am open to any and all suggestions, and if you (yes, you) suggest the title I end up using, you’ll get a shoutout on the site and my undying gratitude ‚̧

So that’s the latest manifestation of my tendency towards extreme academic overcommitment! ¬†Hit me up with your best title suggestions, in the comments or on Facebook or via carrier pigeon.

Canada, weeks 9 and 10

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Hey all! ¬†You may have noticed I didn’t post an update last week. ¬†It was a slow excitement week and a fast grad school week, meaning there wasn’t all that much to report. ¬†So I’m making one post about the past two weeks!

Here are the highlights:

  • York University: ¬†My fellow RAs and I took a day trip up to York for research purposes, not last Thursday but the Thursday before. ¬†The campus itself is a little dreary–OU people, imagine the basement of Dale Hall as an entire campus and you’ll basically be picturing York–but I got pictures of a couple cool spots.
  • Steel City Jazz Fest: ¬†I got to go see Jazz Connection for free on Friday night, and it was AWESOME. ¬†The first tune they played was “Count Bubba,” which I remember playing in my high school jazz band, so that was a trip and a half.
    The venue itself, The Pearl Company, was perfect. ¬†It’s a multilevel theater space; we were on the second floor, which I guess is more for performances like this, readings, the like. ¬†The seating was the biggest mishmash of chairs I’ve ever seen in my life, and the whole place just had such an endearingly rough-hewn vibe. ¬†I really hope I get to attend more events there in the future.
  • HIVEX2016: ¬†On Saturday, I woke up super early and got abnormally dolled up for Hamilton HIVE’s annual young professionals conference, HIVEX. ¬†It was well worth the early alarm; I learned a layered method for pitching an idea, listened to a presentation on storytelling in branding, and got a lot of tips about media relations (how to do interviews, how to interact with reporters, etc.). ¬†And that’s to say nothing of the lunch they provided. ¬†I hadn’t had pulled pork since…….. well, I don’t know how long it had been precisely, but I hadn’t had it since I moved here. ¬†My inner Southerner was very happy.
  • Jackson Square: ¬†Lemme tell ya, being in a mall in an entirely different country is a surreal experience. ¬†The ceilings were so much lower than those in Woodland Hills, back home, and I didn’t know any of the stores. ¬†It felt more like an airport terminal than a mall to me. ¬†With that said, though, this part (which is technically part of Hamilton City Centre, whatever) did remind me of Woodland Hills a little:
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  • I keep forgetting to shout out James Street Bookseller, right near Cafe Augusta. ¬†The place has a great atmosphere and a nice mix of really old and really new books. ¬†Plus, Guillermo del Toro had been in there literally the day before I stopped by. ¬†So there’s that.
  • I saw my first¬†Mountie over the weekend! ¬†Didn’t think to get a picture, unfortunately.

Along those lines, here’s another episode of¬†Minor Differences!

  • I’m pretty sure what Americans call¬†business (in the context of university courses and majors), Canadians call¬†commerce.
  • Here, people call it a¬†washroom¬†rather than a¬†bathroom.
  • Unions¬†are gigantic in Canada, especially in Hamilton because it is/was a steel city. ¬†Apparently TAs, RAs, and sessional (adjunct) faculty have their own union; that was actually one of the first things we learned about at our TA orientation, so I was all like
    I asked one of my professors about it, and he said Reagan basically gutted unionized labor in the States during his administration.
    At any rate, there’s been a lot of fuss over the past couple weeks regarding our own union’s negotiations and a strike vote. ¬†It’ll be interesting to follow what happens with that.
  • Speaking of, what we call¬†adjuncts¬†in the US are¬†sessionals in Canada.
  • Canadians aRE¬†OBSESSED WITH THE ELECTION PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP. ¬†(Side note, I’m wildly jealous of Canada’s month-long election cycle. ¬†I’m so tired. ¬†I’m just so tired.)
  • British spellings. ¬†Still not used to those.
  • Toronto versus Hamilton, on the subject of¬†saying thank you to bus drivers. ¬†This debate legit almost tore our class apart last week–it was hysterical to watch. ¬†The Torontonians among us were adamant about not saying thank you to bus drivers, and the Hamiltonians were horrified and insisted that of course you say thank you to bus drivers. ¬†I was just sitting there like
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  • Plum sauce is huge here; people eat it with chicken strips a lot. ¬†I’m not entirely sure why it’s such a big thing, but I’ve been converted.
  • Apparently there are no go-buttons you can press at crosswalks? ¬†I’ve been looking for those pretty much the whole time I’ve been here, and I haven’t found a single one. ¬†Not that the ones in the US are actually super effective, but I’ve realized it’s nice to have that illusion of control.
  • Card readers. ¬†I’m so used to having the cashier swipe my card for me, but in Canada a cashier will literally just hand me the swiper and I have to do everything myself. ¬†Not a bad thing, necessarily, just something to get used to.

On the next episode of Minor Differences, in some future post:  education.

Now for another episode of Gorgeous Hamilton Churches!

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This one is right across from Durand Coffee.

What I’m watching: ¬†Dark Matter¬†season 2.

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I liked the first season a lot, but this season has been absolutely brilliant so far. ¬†To say it leveled up feels like a giant understatement. ¬†The writing is so tight, nobody’s been OOC so far, and they’ve doubled down on the moral complexity from season 1. ¬†(I’m only on episode 5, so no spoilers!)

Coffee:  Mulberry Coffee House, on James Street.

Great atmosphere, fantastic chai, readily available outlets. ¬†They don’t have wifi, which kind of limits the circumstances in which I can actually go here, but I honestly got so much done on my presentation for research methods in the three or so hours I was there.

Food: ¬†Again, I didn’t really have time to go anywhere special this week, but I just want to give a shoutout to Williams again. ¬†They have fairly cheap grilled cheeses, and I had one last week, and it was soul food. ¬†I needed that grilled cheese.

Bonus, though: ¬†it’s time for another episode of¬†Grad School Kitchen!

I haven’t found Hot Pockets here (maybe I haven’t been looking hard enough, but whatever), but when I was at Shoppers a couple weeks ago, I did find “pizza pockets.” ¬†They honestly taste like knockoff Hot Pockets with a weird-flavored crust, but I found out just the other night that if you spread goat cheese on top of ’em, they taste¬†really¬†good.

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Music:

That’s it for this fortnight! ¬†I’ll be back next week, hopefully, and I’ll tell you all about the presentation I’m giving tomorrow in my research methods class… ūüôā

Canada, week 8

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Oh man, is it time for another update again? ¬†It’s totally time for another update again!

I don’t know about all of you, but this week has just flown by for me. ¬†And it’s been one packed week, too, so without further ado:

The Paper Street Journal knows how to do Halloween. ¬†I’ll admit it, I wanted to go to this shindig almost entirely so I could bust out my Phryne Fisher costume:

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But the party itself was great too! ¬†They got some super-talented bands to perform; GREY \\ WATER reminds me of the xx in the best way possible, and Edgar Breau was so delightfully folksy that he made me miss Oklahoma something fierce. ¬†They rented out the Staircase Theater on Dundurn, this amazing vintage theater. ¬†(I may or may not have briefly played the piano in the theater proper…) ¬†Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures, and the lighting wouldn’t have been good anyway, but you can bet I’ll be back in the future.

The Dap-Queen: ¬†I won a free ticket to see a screening of¬†Miss Sharon Jones! on Saturday night, as part of the Art Gallery of Hamilton’s film festival. ¬†They screened the film at Collective Arts Brewing, so y’know, I got to sit in the middle of a working brewery. ¬†That was pretty cool. ¬†The movie itself was even more emotionally brutal than I’d been bracing for–I knew Sharon Jones had had cancer, but they showed her going through chemo several times, so my wimpy needlephobic self had to look away from the screen on a couple occasions. ¬†But the music was phenomenal, and Sharon herself is a¬†force of nature on stage. ¬†She’s so dynamic. ¬†Even if she weren’t wearing the hippest, most sparkly dresses known to humankind at every show, your eyes would still be drawn to her.

I think the most moving scene for me was when she went to church, still in the throes of chemo, and felt compelled to get up and belt a gospel song and dance like she did at her concerts.  Her feet were going a mile a minute, and afterwards she sat down and just gasped for breath for a solid minute.  I felt so viscerally how badly she wanted to dance, so when she finally sat back down again, I was almost gasping along with her.

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Buffer Festival: ¬†There were so many great screenings and panels at Buffer, and I only wish I could have gone to more of them. ¬†But alas, things cost money and things are expensive, so I only ended up going to the LGBT+ screening on Sunday. ¬†It was 500% worth it–the quality of filmmaking on display was fantastic, and the panelists themselves were all so cool. ¬†I went in only knowing Kaitlyn Alexander, but I came out wanting to check out everybody else’s YouTube channels.

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Before the panel.

I rode my first Canadian train! ¬†The Gardiner Expressway was closed for maintenance this weekend, meaning I had to take my normal Hamilton-Toronto bus to the Aldershot train station, figure out how trains worked in a right hurry (sue me, it’s been over four years since I went to England), and take a train to Union Station. ¬†It was kind of slow going, actually–I definitely like the bus better.

Coffee:  Durand Coffee is a bit of a walk down Caroline Street.  I first went there when it was raining outside, so I was a little miserable and my TOMS were a lot soaked by the time I got there,* but I loved the place nonetheless.  The decor is gorgeous, for one thing.

I want to go there someday when I don’t have homework or grading to worry about and just spend a day reading the books they have on their shelves.

Coffee-wise, I had something they call an “autumn spice latte”–cinnamon and nutmeg, very reminiscent of Finch on Locke’s cinnamon brown butter latte from two weeks ago. ¬†Deeeeeeeee-lish. ¬†10/10 would recommend.

*Side note, please remind me NEVER to wear TOMS outside when I know it’s raining. ¬†I have no idea why I always do this to myself.

Food: ¬†I hit up Maki My Way, on King St., with a friend before Buffer on Sunday. ¬†It’s a sushi place with remarkably fast service–I got my rainbow roll¬†maybe¬†five minutes after I ordered it. ¬†I’d never tried a rainbow roll before, so I can’t really comment on the quality of this specific rainbow roll as compared to Yokozuna or something, but it’s definitely something I’ll get again.

Also, I got fried tofu for an appetizer, and it was¬†heavenly. ¬†(I feel like that’s the most American thing I could have possibly ordered off that menu, but it’s whatever.)

Bonus: ¬†This week you get another installment of Grad School Kitchen! ¬†Our special guests are the packets of tamarind sauce I got with frozen chicken samosas. ¬†I didn’t use the sauce for the samosas, but there was no way I was going to waste it (I’ve gotten WAY weirder about not eating food I bought in the last couple months), so I’ve been putting it in other stuff.

An Incomplete List of Things That Are Bettered by the Addition of Tamarind Sauce:

  • chicken noodle soup
  • ramen
  • scrambled eggs

I plan to add it to poutine later this week.  Will report back.

Music: ¬†Guess what I’m going to put here. ¬†Just guess.

Also, this one’s just plain catchy.

See y’all next week!

Canada, week 7

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Sorry this is late! ¬†I had to put it off because my literature review for research methods was due Monday evening and I had a presentation in that same class on Tuesday. ¬†Fun times. ¬†But hey, y’all are going to get LOADS of pictures and updates this time around, so it’s a win-win.

Here, then, are all the highlights from this past week:

A little bit of Locke Street, again:

Whitney Snapchats the Art Gallery of Ontario:

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The Thinker: ¬†My memory’s a little hazy on this front, but I seem to remember this guy being in a Rodin exhibition at the Philbrook about ten, fifteen years ago. ¬†And then I ran into him again at the AGO.

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Long time no see, pal.

The Campbell House Museum:  Located at the corner of Queen and University.

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I learned SO MUCH about history in the half-hour I spent here:

  • The house itself was built for Sir William Campbell, former chief justice of “Upper Canada,” and his wife Hannah.
  • Sir William stepped off the boat that took him to the US and pretty much immediately met Hannah, who was a fisherman’s daughter.
  • “Upper Canada” – what was that, exactly? ¬†The southern part of Ontario, apparently. ¬†As if this couldn’t get weirder, Quebec was “Lower Canada.” ¬†Ooooooookay, then.
  • Sugar wasn’t always granulated–up until about 1900, the method used to process sugar involved draining it in a funnel-like thing, which created a cone of sugar about two-and-some feet high.
  • Subsequently, in order to chip sugar off this big ol’ cone, people would use these things called “sugar nippers.”
    sugar20nippers
    Yeah, I know, it totally looks like an old-timey torture device. ¬†Happy early Halloween…
  • The US actually tried to invade Canada during the War of 1812, and the Canadians beat them back at Stoney Creek–well, okay, I knew that part already, but it turns out it was a dang miracle that Canada won that battle. ¬†The US had the military might and all the odds in their favor, and yet somehow a scrappy bunch of resettled former Americans, French, and god knows who else sent them scurrying back to the States.
  • Not only that, but the Canadians were the ones who set the White House on fire.
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    “say maple syrup is awful one more time I DARE YOU” – a thing some Canadian commander totally said at some point

The waterfront: ¬†guyyyyyyysssssssssss I can’t handle how gorgeous this place is

Just meandering around Toronto:

Iowa!¬† (Yeah, I know this isn’t Canada, but whatever.) ¬†I spent the second half of reading week in Mason City, Iowa, visiting my extended family (if you’re reading this, hi ‚̧ ). ¬†Initially I wasn’t sure I’d cover that trip in this post, but I just have to give shoutouts to a few places:

  • The Decker House. ¬†We’ve stayed at this bed and breakfast the last three or four times we’ve been to Iowa, and every time has been fantastic. ¬†The place itself is beautiful (as you’ll see in the photos below), and the staff is always endlessly kind and helpful.
  • The Macnider Museum, where my parents met back in 19mumble–my mom worked at the museum, and my paternal grandmother was and is super involved in the local arts scene. ¬†My mom and I were talking about this just the other day, and she called me a museum rat, and it’s honestly one of my favorite things anyone’s ever said about me. ¬†I kind of want it on a shirt now.
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We spent a whole morning just walking around Mason City, and I got some really gorgeous shots.  Fall has come to Iowa in spectacular fashion:

There’ll be more Iowa shoutouts in the coffee and food sections…

What I’m reading: ¬†I got free books for the class I’m TA-ing, and I’ve been reading one of them on the various planes and buses I’ve been on in the past few days–The Culture of Connectivity: ¬†A Critical History of Social Media¬†by Jos√© van Dijck. ¬†Not only is it a fascinating subject, but the book itself is super accessible, and even the academic jargon is explained really well. ¬†If you can get ahold of this book, do it.

Coffee: ¬†I just have to talk about Jitters, in Mason City. ¬†I adore this place. ¬†It’s not a proper visit to Mason City if we don’t go to Jitters. ¬†I honestly wish I could teleport purely so I could go study at Jitters. ¬†I’ve never had a bad cup of coffee there (though I recommend the sugar-free mocha frap and the Mexican mocha in particular).

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Food:  Four spotlights this week!

First up is Hey Lucy, on King St. in Toronto. ¬†It’s a really oblong restaurant, with brick-wall ambiance and a strange yet lovable mix of sportsy Harley-Davidson decor and vintage stuff. ¬†I had the bruschetta, and the taste is still haunting me.

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I also got a pic of the restaurant itself.

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Also, I didn’t manage to get a picture of it, but taking up the entire left wall in that back section was a poster that looked something like this (I don’t think it’s exactly this one, but it was the closest thing I could find):

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Yeah, apparently the Supreme Master of Magic is named… um, George. ¬†I asked the waitress about it, and she said the old owner of the building knew this George guy, and they inherited that particular bit of decor from him.

Next up is Bareburger, on Dundas near Yonge. ¬†It’s actually a chain based out of Brooklyn, but it’s gained some measure of Internet fame recently due to this sign:

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I saw that when I was walking down Dundas, looking for someplace to grab dinner, and I went OMG I SAW THAT THING ON THE INTERNET. ¬†So obviously I had to check this place out. ¬†I didn’t end up ordering that burger, but rather creating one of my own, and it was wunderbar. ¬†One of the spread options on the menu was guacamole, and¬†man, did they ever deliver on the guac. ¬†The stuff was spilling off my burger. ¬†It was great.

Moving on to Iowa:  Borealis Station is another one of our perpetual stops.  It used to be a DX station before it was converted into a coffee-and-ice-cream place.  We all had some killer raspberry sorbet there on Saturday.

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Lastly, I’ve got to sing the praises of the Decker House again, specifically of what seems to be one of their standard breakfast offerings: ¬†eggs mornay. ¬†Y’all, their eggs mornay are so good. ¬†When I saw it was on the menu for breakfast, I literally heard an angel choir singing the Hallelujah Chorus in my head. ¬†I’m not saying I’d stay there¬†just¬†for the eggs mornay, buuuuuuuut…

Music: ¬†Since my literature review was all about superheroes, I’ve been listening to a lot of MCU soundtracks this week.

Whew, that was a lot of updates. ¬†That’s it for this week, though! ¬†See y’all on Monday!