The ’90s Nostalgia Project: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S2E1 and E2

Standard

What it says on the tin.  Let’s go.

  • HELLOOOOOOOOO AGAIN, let’s livetweet some ! next up is S2E1, “When She Was Bad”
  • and just from the Netflix preview, looks like Buffy’s been traumatized by her near-death experience. fun fun fun
  • THANKS, SHOW, for reminding me that the Master looked like a swarm of flying spiders when he died, I REALLY appreciate that
  • bawww, who’s Willow swapping movie quotes with–oh. hi, Xander. 😒
  • the heck are you holding, Xander?
  • “well yeah if you’re always scissors” — I JUST SPAT BREADCRUMBS
  • how is it that this show was making killer gay jokes before any character was canonically gay?
  • “please, I’m so over her”
  • can somebody develop a special Xander-muting app
  • if only there was pensive piano music in real life for these sorts of situations
  • OH SH
  • confirmed, Buffy basically brings the vampire party with her wherever she goes
  • YES GIRLFRIEND KICK HIS ASS
  • “hi guys.” —
  • lawd I missed this theme song
  • Buffcakes didn’t get bangs per se but she like……….. spiritually got bangs, if that makes any sense
  • JOYCE 😍
  • lovely little interlude from Cordelia there… I’m consoling myself with thoughts of her future character development
  • sup, Quark
  • this high school might be above a literal hellhole but god, at least these students get to go outside between classes
  • someone should set up Principal Quark and Agatha Trunchbull on a blind date. they’d either get along like a house on fire or kill each other
  • and either way, it’d be entertaining as hell. 😈
  • OH DEAR LORD, SPEAKING OF GETTING BANGS
  • same tbh
  • “Yo, G-Man, what’s up?”
    never speak again, Xander
  • oh wait nvm Buffy did get bangs, I just didn’t see them in the dark
  • I am super in favor of this library gymnastics bit
  • I can totally see the prosthetics line on this bald vampire’s head
  • OKAY WHAT THE F
  • GILES YOU ARE IN PUBLIC WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
  • oh lawl never mind it’s one of Buffy’s dreams, she unmasked Giles and he’s the Masted
  • THE MASTER. god dang it
  • when you try your best but you don’t succeed
  • I’m amazed at how coherent Buffy’s dreams are, honestly
  • Xander and Willow were so thoroughly in character
  • except for the part where they stood by as the Master strangled Buffy, I mean
  • oh god why is her bedroom window open.
  • oop. Angel is why.
  • “mind if I come in?”
    dude you’re already in her bedroom.
  • “how are you?”
    “peachy.”
  • awwwww, a lovely bit of star-crossed lovers angst.
  • “did you guys hear that Cibo Matto is going to be at the Bronze tonight?” Xander says, as if there isn’t a poster for that event behind him
  • holy god did *everybody* get bangs over break? (well, except Willow, that is)
  • ah yes, a hint of that wonderful Cordelia character development
  • WILLOW FOR GOD’S SAKE you cannot seriously be trying the ice-cream-on-nose trick again
  • oh wonderful, gravedigging. I bet I know exactly who the Anointed One and his lackeys are digging up.
  • because what’s scarier than a vampire who’s also a zombie?
  • Buffy striding into the Bronze accompanied by some moody synthwave
  • oh dear god Buffy do not do this
  • do not toy with Xander like this, it’s still a jerkish thing to do and it’ll make him even more insufferable
  • is that backup singer even singing at all?
  • I for real want that dress tho
  • this is so weird and I am so uncomfortable
  • Xander looks downright miserable tbh
  • BUFFY. GIRLFRIEND. get tf out of there. treat yourself to a pedicure or something, sheesh.
  • wait tho, Cordelia is swooping in with the advice of the year
  • OH GOD
  • how did I become so protective of Cordelia Chase so fast, good lord
  • oh NO NO NO Jenny got kidnapped along with Cordelia
  • (@ self: don’t get attached, gosh darn it)
  • cut to the next day and Willow just casually talking, very very loudly, about possession in the middle of the lunchroom
  • no one on this show is the least bit subtle: the show
  • “a bitka?”
    literal lol’ing
  • for real, though, I’m a little miffed that nobody’s considering the possibility of PTSD
  • oh nvm Giles is considering it. good on ya
  • “there’s some things I can just smell. it’s like a sixth sense.” “that would be one of the five.” y’all I am DECEASED
  • yeah, uh, I’m with Willow on this one. Buffcakes, you are definitely walking into a trap.
  • you are very easily distracted, Buffy
  • crying girl, definitely a trap
  • OH. OH DEAR GOD
  • you know, I actually suspected they were after the rest of the Scoobies right when Giles first said “nearest”
  • damn, why does the library always have to get wrecked
  • huh, they left Xander behind. I mean I would too but why did the vamps do it?
  • WELL THEN.
  • Buffy definitely just brought a whole new meaning to shoving religion down people’s throats
  • oh great, the four kidnapped people are strung up like chickens over the Master’s bones.
  • dude, Giles, you’re tall enough to touch the bones, GRAB THEM. MAKE ‘EM PUT THE SKELETON BACK TOGETHER
  • SWALLOW ONE OF ‘EM IF YOU HAFTA
  • or wait, I guess Giles isn’t even conscious.
  • THAT’S RIGHT, BUFFCAKES, MESS ‘EM UP
  • why is nobody focused on destroying the Master’s skeleton, that would throw a wrench in people’s plans right away
  • holy… did she just stake one vamp with the butt end of a torch and burn another with the fire end?
  • god, that is so efficient and I love it
  • oh okay here we go, NOW somebody thinks to smash the Master into bits
  • oh god this is so emotional and I love it
  • Xander that shirt is hideous
  • seriously
  • oh great, that little snot-nosed mid is still alive.
  • KID. good lord.
  • let’s go for another one, shall we?

S2E2, “Some Assembly Required”

  • Buffy are you literally sitting on a headstone
  • I’ll give Angel this, he is much better at hiding jealousy than Xander is
  • seriously, Buff, don’t bring just one stake, that’s a recipe for trouble
  • “what do you mean, he’s just a kid? does that mean I’m just a kid too?”
    well, uh, when you put it that way
  • “whoever was buried here didn’t rise from this grave. she was dragged from it.”
    cue the opening of London Bridge
  • GILES ARE YOU REHEARSING ASKING JENNY OUT YOU DORK
  • Buffy and Xander tag-teasing Giles is adding years to my lifespan though
  • I’m always so fascinated by how the ordinary, the bystanders, are grieved or not grieved in shows like this
  • Sunnydale can’t be that big and yet Xander didn’t know of Meredith, someone his own age
  • and then there were the boys found dead in the school lounge at the end of season 1, too
  • Cordelia was certainly shaken by their deaths, as was Willow, but somehow life for the rest of the school goes on — how?
  • it must shape the fabric of a town, this constant loss, the fact that it’s always grief o’clock somewhere, but is that ever really explored?
  • do off-camera parents deny this grief because they’re so painfully used to it by this point? do their children dream of escaping Sunnydale?
  • do families move here and then immediately nope the hell out?
  • do kids who go to college elsewhere joke about the violent hellhole they grew up in and then wonder how much of a joke it was?
  • whew okay pensive interlude aside, back to the snark
  • oh great, weirdo with camera taking surprise pictures of people. we’ve got ourselves a regular Colin Creevey here
  • “I don’t think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don’t want to” – Cordelia over here sounding like Betsy DeVos
  • gotta hand it to this Chris guy for consistently calling out Creepy Eric. I bet Chris is gonna die.
  • OKAY WOW NEVER MIND CHRIS IS ONE OF THE GRAVE ROBBERS
  • the poster boy for meninism
  • (apologies to whichever actor that is.)
  • wait is Chris Cordelia’s ex from long ago?
  • gotta hand it to Cordy, at least she’s attempting to deal with her own issues, even if it’s in her typical Cordyish way
  • hold up, so Sunnydale is a big enough town that there’s another high school fairly close by?
  • I’m still trying to figure this world out. it’s a little baffling.
  • Xander literally just quipped about the “cross-town body competition” I can’t
  • this show has such a weird relationship with death and grief
  • lawllllllll Buffy and Willow making the men do all the gravedigging here
  • ohhhhhhhh, Cordy dated Chris’s older brother, that’s what happened
  • and of course the brother died.
  • “rock-climbing.” sure, Willow
  • oh I have a very bad feeling about this sudden cut to Cordelia.
  • SMART, CORDELIA
  • oh man I thought for sure it’d be one of the body snatchers but no, it’s Angel
  • and of course Cordelia finds a severed hand in the dumpster she was hiding in because honestly what else would you expect from Sunnydale
  • meanwhile the rest of the Scoobies found empty graves, wunderbar
  • Cordelia is lowkey cuddling Angel and I’m like…………. is this foreshadowing
  • I don’t remember from my long-ago Wikipedia dive — are they a Thing in Angel?
  • anyway. Angel just described some Jack the Ripper shenans so that’s charming
  • in fairness to Cordelia, after an ordeal like hers, I’d feel better with a vampire accompanying me home too
  • oh, hello, Chris and his mom.
  • this is one hell of a sympathetic antagonist
  • the mom is watching her dead son’s old football videos I’m emotional
  • woohoo locker search party
  • oh now that is creepy.
  • the Barbiedook
  • that may well be the most dreadful pun I’ve ever made
  • “how’s my baby?” Eric, you little Frankenstein groupie, if you don’t shut the entire hell up right this instant…
  • I already hated “My Girl” but gosh dang
  • okay Xander I hate that you’re basically IRL subtweeting Buffy right now but you do have a good point about people desiring the unattainable
  • even though I’m sure you don’t realize it
  • honestly though Xander would 100% be that person whose Twitter is entirely subtweets
  • GILES. hon you look like a lost schoolgirl
  • “ask her to bless your laptop” — Buffy that even sounds weird coming from *you*
  • though “technopagan” sounds fly as hell
  • HE LITERALLY JUST “don’t leave me”-ED I CAN’T
  • oh he already used the word “indecorous,” this is going to go swimmingly
  • it’s okay, Giles, I’d be flustered if I were asking Jenny out too
  • mmhmm, Giles, I’m sure you have so much fun at football games
  • Jenny is Getting It Done and I am weak
  • that hairdo is also making me weak lbr
  • “that went well. I think.”
    Giles you literally didn’t even do anything
  • “huh, I found them attractive enough”
    XANDER YOU INSENSITIVE BLOCK OF WEEK-OLD SPAM YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THE DEAD SHOW SOME F—ING RESPECT
  • Chris is all eeehhhhhhh about committing murder despite the fact that he’s Frankensteining a girl
  • or “Igoring” might be another appropriate term
  • OH DANG, Chris’s brother is DEFINITELY​ NOT DEAD
  • or, uh, not super dead at any rate
  • dude looks like a baseball
  • he doesn’t want to be alone — oh my god this is raising so many interesting questions about Adam and Eve mythology
  • lawd this is messed up
  • does Darryl or whatever his name is not remember he dated Cordelia? or does Eric just not know?
  • “I think anyone who cuts dead girls into little pieces doesn’t get the benefit of any doubt” — Z-SNAPPING IT OUT FOR BUFFY
  • Buffy is not here for Chris apologism and I love it
  • oh yeah, Chris, the six different NO ENTRY signs to your Frankencellar are definitely going to quash all curiosity
  • bracing myself for a jump scare
  • I hate this from-behind camera angle so much
  • OH GOD Darryl almost sneaking up on Buffy but her not noticing and getting away is almost worse than a jumpscare
  • oh boy, Cordelia is putting on makeup when Chris approaches. filed under “definitely significant”
  • yeah, Chris, what ARE you doing in what I can only assume is the girls’ locker room
  • FLYING KICK FOR THE WIN
  • I’m so impressed that Cordelia knows the word “apex,” genuinely
  • Eric you predatory piece of [redacted]
  • good lord this football game is taking me back
  • whaddaya want to bet Darryl’s going to steal someone’s uniform and go out on the field
  • or not.
  • wonderful timing for that touchdown, boys. not.
  • BUFFCAKES CATCHING A THROWN KNIFE LIKE IT’S NO BIG DEAL
  • Eric lowkey sneaking around the back while Buffy talks to Darryl
  • SO MUCH FIRE ALL OF A SUDDEN
  • also I’m amazed, Xander can actually be useful for once
  • holy mother of god Xander definitely just Fast-and-Furioused Cordelia’s stretcher straight through the flames
  • the boy does have his very occasional uses
  • also Buffy is kicking an awful lot and I’m like… hon that’s a recipe for getting your leg grabbed and getting yanked onto your rear
  • Chris swooping in at the eleventh hour to try to dissuade Darryl
  • oh that is disturbing, Darryl died for the second time bc he was literally so thirsty he decided he’d rather cuddle a headless corpse
  • phwhooosh
  • OH AND OF COURSE XANDER’S BIG TAKEAWAY IS THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS “PAIRED OFF” go home and watch reruns of Baywatch you perv
  • here’s an idea, Xander, Chris isn’t “paired off” with anyone
  • what the SNOT, XANDER
  • CORDELIA IS TRYING TO THANK YOU AND YOU BRUSH HER OFF?
  • see, this is one of many many MANY reasons why you’re still single
  • @ anyone pls tell me the Character Transmogrifier comes for this fool eventually
  • he is the least self-aware character ever
  • “I don’t love Xander”
    “yeah, but he’s in your life. he gets to be there when I can’t.”
    uh, anybody else get a possessive vibe from this?
  • chill out, Angel, yeesh
  • and they mosey through the graveyard right next to Darryl’s grave, and turns out I’ve been spelling his name wrong this whole time
  • also it just occurred to me that I was livetweeting an episode about a dude who came back from the dead. happy Easter, folks.
Advertisements

The ’90s Nostalgia Project: Whitney Livetweets the Buffy S1 Finale

Standard

Once again, y’all are going to get a livetweet masterpost rather than a Canada update, because I’ve been swamped with work.  Here, then, is my livetweet of “Prophecy Girl”:

  • yall I know it’s a ridiculous time of night to be doing this but guess what??? more Buffy livetweeting!!!
  • only one ep tonight, that’s all I got time for, but still
  • tonight I’m tackling the S1 finale whoo boy
  • k so apparently Buffy and Angel have already smooched, duly noted
  • wait who’s this tiny kid
  • also Giles is looking for a super particular vampire almanac and Angel’s like “I’ll interlibrary loan it for you bro”
  • (and that’s what I missed on Buffy!)
  • we open on the Bronze, and tbh I’m having to suspend so much disbelief about this club being a real thing
  • vampires, sure. teenagers who actually go to a legit club?? does that happen????
  • oh christ who’s Xander confessing his undying love to
  • oh god poor Willow
  • (although……… Willow, babe, ilu but WHY are you wearing that dog collar like I know this is the ’90s but sheeeeeesh)
  • GOD, XANDER, WHY. DO NOT.
  • “what’s Buffy doing?” besides avoiding your unimpressive self, you mean?
  • k why does that vampire growl like the tiger noise at every Broken Arrow football game ever
  • is this episode the origin story of man door hand hook whatever?
  • AW YEAH STAKES ARE OUT BUFFY’S JUST LIKE “COME AT ME BRO I DARE YOU”
  • those punching noises sounded weirdly hollow
  • wait whoa does Giles literally live at the school
  • um pls tell me that at some point in the series, characters reading to themselves backfires hardcore and they accidentally summon a demon
  • don’t worry, Giles, I’m sure that vibration is just due to the crapton of fault lines in California
  • (side note, where in California *is* Sunnydale?)
  • oh ok that’s actually one doozy of an earthquake
  • NOT THE LIBRARY
  • good lord is the Master always this melodramatic or does he just have the world’s worst case of cabin fever
  • brief theme song interlude
  • Gilesssssssss you are a mess
  • ugh hang on my wifi went out again, pls hold for technical difficulties
  • JUST TELL HER YOU KNOB
  • I choose to believe that Willow is purposely sabotaging Xander by being an exceptionally bad liar here
  • lord I can smell the secondhand embarrassment a mile away. I need to take a moment, hang on
  • right I’ve got some chips and very garlicky salsa, let’s endure this scene
  • “hey. leave.” XANDER YOU INCONSIDERATE TOENAIL
  • oh my god he’s gonna say the mating thing isn’t he.
  • when you know you’re about to screw up royally but you just can’t stop yourself from running your mouth
  • ok he didn’t say the mating thing. thank god.
  • “Willow’s not looking to date you. Or if it is, she’s playing it pretty close to the chest.” oh m y g o d
  • I Cannot Believe the first gay joke on this show was from f***ing XANDER
  • relatable
  • XANDER IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR FOOL MOUTH RIGHT THIS INSTANT
  • “look, I’m sorry, I don’t handle rejection well” – I’m screaming???? did he actually just say that????????
  • god in heaven I do not understand how Buffy didn’t smack him down right then and there
  • oh this is agony
  • ugh pls miss me with the sad piano music
  • oh my god an actual phone with a cord! just like the one we still have at home
  • UM WHY DID NONE OF YOU TELL ME JENNY CALENDAR IS (1) A TOTAL BABE AND (2) EXACTLY MY TYPE
  • does she always open conversations by lovingly dragging people omg I adore her already
  • god, I didn’t realize till just now how Not A Thing the phrase “surfing the net” is anymore
  • Cordelia what are you going to do to Willow
  • a bit of subliminal messaging here
  • YES WILLOW TELL HIM WHAT’S UP
  • also Willow’s puppy eyes have me WEAK
  • yay creepy choir echoes
  • oh SH
  • LITERAL CRICKETS IN THE BACKGROUND when Buffy overhears the prophecy, I’m dead y’all
  • Buffy oh my god I’m emotional
  • she just went all ending-of-Order-of-the-Phoenix on him I
  • *wailing*
  • k now you can *not* miss me with the sad piano music
  • uh, no, my room totally doesn’t look a thing like this why would you possibly think that
  • (ARGH the lengths I go to in order to keep my reflection out of these but my nose still made it in)
  • oh hi Joyce, my favorite TV mom
  • ok but this Cordelia bit is actually uncomfortably
  • I’m just gonna guess they’ll walk in and the boys will be gruesomely dead
  • oh wow that is one hell of a shot
  • why is Buffy like the only person who has ever looked good in an empire-waist dress
  • that’s honestly not even fair
  • WILLOW MY CHILD
  • give her a damn hug ya monster
  • it’s such a shame because I know what happens to Jenny and I’m trying not to get attached but damn it
  • “Buffy’s not going to face the Master, I am.” uh?
  • armed with what, Giles, your stellar fashion sense? or do you actually know how to use those swords for something other than paper cutting?
  • omg my bby’s embracing her destiny and going to h*ck up monsters I’m so proud
  • SHE JUST STRAIGHT UP DECKED GILES
  • ok but do we have this iconic Slayer to blame for the preponderance of ballgowns on YA book covers? genuine question
  • Buffy, don’t trust the damn kid, remember The Shining?
  • same, Jenny
  • the eternal Dealing With Xander Harris face
  • is that thing like…………. a trident AND a crossbow?
  • this conversation between Angel and Xander feels like the literal entire reason the Bechdel Test was developed
  • it’s like not even a Bechdel Test fail……….. it’s more like a reverse Bechdel pass
  • and honestly I’m not here for it, k, let’s move on
  • how did Angel not sense the giant cross before Xander shoved it in his face?
  • “at the end of the day, I pretty much think you’re a vampire.”
  • “you’re in love with her.”
    “aren’t you?”
    LITERAL FRUSTRATED SCREECH
  • please let this scene be over soon oh my god
  • man, I can’t imagine how much faster this research process would go with Google Maps and ProQuest
  • good move, Buffy, waiting till the kid is out of sight to move
  • “thanks for having me” – ICONIQUE
  • dude looks like an overgrown finger who spent too much time under a bandaid
  • there was no way to avoid the reflection in that one, lawl
  • “oh good, the feeble banter portion of the fight” – brb mad that I didn’t come up with that line first
  • am I really witnessing a vampire No Homo between Angel and Xander rn I swear to god
  • I mean I’m sure everybody thought prom was going to be a metaphorical agonizing bloodbath anyway
  • GET IN THE DAMN CAR, YOU TWO, FAST AND FURIOUS THIS SH*T
  • god help me now I really want a Grand Theft Auto/Walking Dead crossover video game
  • BUFF. YOU CAN DO IT STOP THIS CREEPER FROM BREATHING DOWN YA DAMN NECK
  • NOT WHAT I MEANT
  • LITERALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I MEANT
  • for real though I feel like Joel Schumacher took all of his aesthetic inspiration from this episode and none of the feminism
  • also I paused the video at the exact right moment and I can’t stop laughing
  • oh great
  • if either one of those patriarchal MFs is the one to “save” Buffy I’m gonna riot
  • oh my god no no no NO NOT THE ICKY CPR TROPE DEAR GOD
  • Xander do you actually know CPR
  • HELL YEAH CORDELIA COMIN IN LIKE VIN DIESEL
  • ugh yeah Xander’s CPR was what resuscitated her end me now pls
  • HOLY REDACTED, CORDELIA JUST DID THAT
  • course, the flip side is that she just punched a giant hole in the school so now the vamps can come in easier. goooooooood job
  • Giles over [here] like “I know they did not just do that”
  • they’re building a barricade and I know this is not the time to snicker about Les Mis but just watch me
  • OKAY WHAT IS THAT PREHENSILE VACUUM TUBE DOING
  • oh god the bite.
  • AW YEAH BUFFY YOU ROCK THAT MURDER WALK
  • walk walk fashion baby
  • I love the super literal take on “game face”
  • WAHOO CORDELIA COMIN IN WITH THE REVERSE BITE LIKE A BAWSE
  • ok no but biting a vampire back is literally the funniest thing I can possibly think of for a vampire story I can’t even deal rn
  • wait did the Sarlacc just burst out of the library floor or what
  • the Master over here clapping like Nicole Kidman at the Oscars
  • “I may be dead but I’m still pretty” – HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • I can’t believe Buffy dusted the Master in eight words
  • I can’t believe Buffy Summers invented the clapback
  • I can’t believe she just clapped him back to the bottom level of hell wow truly
  • Giles over here turning into Paul Bunyan
  • oh dear god why is it that the Master has to look like a literal horde of spiders when he kicks it
  • whoa okay WHY are they just leaving the creepy skeleton in the middle of the library why aren’t they torching that MF
  • dancing to the ending theme music like
  • OKIE DOKE FOLKS that’s all for tonight. the livetweet post should be up sometime tomorrow or Tuesday. sweet dreams, babies~

I’ll be livetweeting more Buffy, starting with season 2, later this week!  Till then…

The ’90s Nostalgia Project: Whitney Livetweets Buffy, Part 1

Standard

And no, that’s not the official title for this project, just the working title.

Sorry, but y’all aren’t getting another Canada post this week; grad school continues to be an absolute circus, and pretty much the only parts of Canada I’ve actually seen this week are my apartment and campus.  But instead, you get a livetweet post!  In honor of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s 20th anniversary, I watched and livetweeted the show’s first two episodes.  Here’s the roundup:

Episode 1:  Welcome to the Hellmouth

  • bruh just from that cheesy title sequence I have chills
  • general rule, if a character asks “are you sure this is a great idea?” it’s not a great idea
  • feel like I’m watching a Grease reboot here
  • HOBOY DANNY ZUKO JUST GOT BITTEN
  • is it just me or is there something super quintessentially ’90s about that overlay filming technique
  • I feel like Xander’s entrance is a perfect metaphor for who he is as a person
  • WILLOW MY LOVE
  • why is burning down the gym on her *transcript* though
  • I cannot believe Buffy was able to finesse her way out of that kind of slip of the tongue… “vampir–asbestos” honestly
  • Xander you are the most transparent ever
  • Buffy not even waiting till she leaves Xander to make a skeptical face
  • oh hi there Cordelia
  • god, Willow is hair goals
  • HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GILES
  • Aphrodisia. oh my god
  • that screaming girl looks like Michelle Obama tho
  • oh my god Xander please shut up
  • wait I can’t believe Starbucks was actually a thing when this first aired???
  • YESSSSSS PULLING LOCKED DOORS OPEN MY QUEEN
  • “a whole big sucking thing”
  • Buffy is a lil fireball and I’m in love already
  • oh hey I didn’t know the Phantom of the Opera moved to Sunnydale after the Daroga kicked his ass
  • aw, I like Joyce
  • K SERIOUSLY HOW DOES BUFFY GET AWAY WITH MISSPEAKING SO MUCH
  • is that one of her Slayer gifts
  • lawl I recognize this scene from the Buffy vs. Edward mashup video
  • HOLY CORE STRENGTH, BATMAN
  • what is with David Boreanaz’s vaguely Southern drawl good lord
  • oh good heavens I’ve seen more dinky warehouses like this in midtown Tulsa than I can count
  • the lead singer of this band is wearing khaki shorts on stage I can’t
  • Willow you are so relatable
  • Buffy is already so protective of Willow 😭😭😭
  • retro whooshing noises wheeeeeee
  • Buff, you’re still holding the stake. in the middle of a club.
  • a wild Voldemort appears!–wait no wrong franchise
  • mood marimba 😂
  • I can totally see how these special effects would have been amazing at the time, man
  • oh wonderful, Xander and Willow and that other dude just ran into a Twilight fan convention
  • he’s monologuing, Buffy, kick his–dammit
  • k well obviously I have to watch the second episode now

Episode 2:  The Harvest

  • provided, of course, that Netflix loads the wretched thing. 🙄
  • why is this the perfect “waiting for Netflix to load” face though:

  • IT’S STILL LOADING
  • pls hold for technical difficulties
  • AND WE’RE BACK
  • also, a small thing that’s throwing me off: the beating-people-up sounds are actually really soft in these fight sequences
  • have fight sequences just gotten louder in the past twenty years or so? is that a thing?
  • ah yay history with Giles
  • tbh I probably have a whole essay in me about various versions of vampire genesis
  • this whole human-demon-mixing thing is super interesting and I’m excited to see how it’s borne out thematically
  • in contrast to Buffy, Darla has no finesse
  • “they can fly?”
    “they can drive.”
  • I just find it so hilarious that these here Phantoms of the Opera aren’t *sure* Buffy is the Slayer
  • “so yeah that girl I fought was super duper strong.” “she the Slayer?” “dunno, man, the rugby player I ate last week put up a good fight”
  • that computer is pretty sprightly considering it’s running, like, Windows 2000 BC
  • Xander that shirt is atrocious
  • and of course the boy takes EVERYTHING as an attack on his fragile masculinity my god this is already exhausting
  • dude. Buffcakes. at least wait till Flutie is out of sight to jump over the dang fence
  • How to Not Finesse but Still Get Away with Stuff: the show
  • k honestly of the three leads, Willow is the only one who really convincingly Looks Like A High Schooler
  • why is everything Angel is saying so forced ugh
  • hahahahahahaha “suckfest” I see what you did there
  • k another foley thing I don’t get: when characters are sneaking around, why oh WHY must they still have loud footsteps
  • that is not how you Sneak(TM)
  • XANDER YOU COMPLETE MEATHEAD
  • god Xander you are so bad at this sneaking thing
  • this guy looks like someone but I cannot put my finger on who:

  • k good now I can resume the episode, I wasn’t going to move on before figuring that out 😂
  • wow whoops sorry folks, was talking with about the eventual essay I’ll write on Buffy ANYWAYS
  • “private discussions”? Cord, honey, you’re talking loudly in a small computer lab
  • WILLOW YOU TRICKSTER ILU
  • oh they vamped him. I bet they vamped him
  • is it part of the vamps’ plan to just shamble around and look menacing?
  • knew it.
  • oh god this tunnel scene is giving me claustrophobia
  • god I just realized these guys sound exactly like monsters from DOOM
  • DRAMATIC ZOOM ON GILES for no reason
  • oh my god there is PIPE ORGAN in this dramatic vampire crypt music
  • they’re really leaning into the Phantom similarities, aren’t they
  • ah cool cool here’s a dramatic and weirdly homoerotic hand kiss moment cool
  • “my blood is your blood, my soul is your soul”
    …………….k like I was joking about the homoerotic bit two seconds ago but now, jeez
  • did I just witness a gay vampire wedding lmao
  • uh wow this just keeps getting gayer
  • cooooooool, Voldemort, I’m sure the ceiling appreciated you shouting your last couple words at it
  • ohhhhhh Joyce, Joyce, Joyce. you have no idea
  • oh no, that poor bouncer
  • oh man I thought he was gonna die
  • oh wait yeah he’s gonna die
  • of cooooooooooooourse the black guy dies first, *yay*
  • ugh
  • is anybody actually around your man cave to hear you yammering on, Voldy?
  • tbh it wouldn’t surprise me if the dude was talking to himself
  • or just to his ceiling again
  • seriously, these vampires have the world’s worst reflexes
  • of all the vampire attributes the Underworld series had to take and run with, they HAD to choose that one
  • K BUT THAT CYMBAL FRISBEE WAS BALLER
  • YES CATCH HIM MONOLOGUING
  • PRIME MISDIRECTION
  • “it’s in about nine hours, moron” – also
  • Angel WHY are you so useless jfc
  • “the Earth is doomed” – oh Giles, never change
  • I gotta say, I’m really glad they basically split a pilot episode in two
  • they did the plot much better justice that way

There you have it!  To recap the rest of what I said on Twitter:  because this is for a class project and time is somewhat of the essence here, I won’t be livetweeting every single episode.  Instead, I’ll Wikipedia my way through season 1 and then eventually come back with seasons 2 and 3–which I also probably won’t have time to livetweet in their entirety, we’ll see.  But there will be more of this coming your way!  In the meantime, keep an eye on Twitter for more updates on this big ol’ project.  Till next time…