The ’90s Nostalgia Project: Whitney Livetweets Buffy, Part 1

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And no, that’s not the official title for this project, just the working title.

Sorry, but y’all aren’t getting another Canada post this week; grad school continues to be an absolute circus, and pretty much the only parts of Canada I’ve actually seen this week are my apartment and campus.  But instead, you get a livetweet post!  In honor of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s 20th anniversary, I watched and livetweeted the show’s first two episodes.  Here’s the roundup:

Episode 1:  Welcome to the Hellmouth

  • bruh just from that cheesy title sequence I have chills
  • general rule, if a character asks “are you sure this is a great idea?” it’s not a great idea
  • feel like I’m watching a Grease reboot here
  • HOBOY DANNY ZUKO JUST GOT BITTEN
  • is it just me or is there something super quintessentially ’90s about that overlay filming technique
  • I feel like Xander’s entrance is a perfect metaphor for who he is as a person
  • WILLOW MY LOVE
  • why is burning down the gym on her *transcript* though
  • I cannot believe Buffy was able to finesse her way out of that kind of slip of the tongue… “vampir–asbestos” honestly
  • Xander you are the most transparent ever
  • Buffy not even waiting till she leaves Xander to make a skeptical face
  • oh hi there Cordelia
  • god, Willow is hair goals
  • HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GILES
  • Aphrodisia. oh my god
  • that screaming girl looks like Michelle Obama tho
  • oh my god Xander please shut up
  • wait I can’t believe Starbucks was actually a thing when this first aired???
  • YESSSSSS PULLING LOCKED DOORS OPEN MY QUEEN
  • “a whole big sucking thing”
  • Buffy is a lil fireball and I’m in love already
  • oh hey I didn’t know the Phantom of the Opera moved to Sunnydale after the Daroga kicked his ass
  • aw, I like Joyce
  • K SERIOUSLY HOW DOES BUFFY GET AWAY WITH MISSPEAKING SO MUCH
  • is that one of her Slayer gifts
  • lawl I recognize this scene from the Buffy vs. Edward mashup video
  • HOLY CORE STRENGTH, BATMAN
  • what is with David Boreanaz’s vaguely Southern drawl good lord
  • oh good heavens I’ve seen more dinky warehouses like this in midtown Tulsa than I can count
  • the lead singer of this band is wearing khaki shorts on stage I can’t
  • Willow you are so relatable
  • Buffy is already so protective of Willow 😭😭😭
  • retro whooshing noises wheeeeeee
  • Buff, you’re still holding the stake. in the middle of a club.
  • a wild Voldemort appears!–wait no wrong franchise
  • mood marimba 😂
  • I can totally see how these special effects would have been amazing at the time, man
  • oh wonderful, Xander and Willow and that other dude just ran into a Twilight fan convention
  • he’s monologuing, Buffy, kick his–dammit
  • k well obviously I have to watch the second episode now

Episode 2:  The Harvest

  • provided, of course, that Netflix loads the wretched thing. 🙄
  • why is this the perfect “waiting for Netflix to load” face though:

  • IT’S STILL LOADING
  • pls hold for technical difficulties
  • AND WE’RE BACK
  • also, a small thing that’s throwing me off: the beating-people-up sounds are actually really soft in these fight sequences
  • have fight sequences just gotten louder in the past twenty years or so? is that a thing?
  • ah yay history with Giles
  • tbh I probably have a whole essay in me about various versions of vampire genesis
  • this whole human-demon-mixing thing is super interesting and I’m excited to see how it’s borne out thematically
  • in contrast to Buffy, Darla has no finesse
  • “they can fly?”
    “they can drive.”
  • I just find it so hilarious that these here Phantoms of the Opera aren’t *sure* Buffy is the Slayer
  • “so yeah that girl I fought was super duper strong.” “she the Slayer?” “dunno, man, the rugby player I ate last week put up a good fight”
  • that computer is pretty sprightly considering it’s running, like, Windows 2000 BC
  • Xander that shirt is atrocious
  • and of course the boy takes EVERYTHING as an attack on his fragile masculinity my god this is already exhausting
  • dude. Buffcakes. at least wait till Flutie is out of sight to jump over the dang fence
  • How to Not Finesse but Still Get Away with Stuff: the show
  • k honestly of the three leads, Willow is the only one who really convincingly Looks Like A High Schooler
  • why is everything Angel is saying so forced ugh
  • hahahahahahaha “suckfest” I see what you did there
  • k another foley thing I don’t get: when characters are sneaking around, why oh WHY must they still have loud footsteps
  • that is not how you Sneak(TM)
  • XANDER YOU COMPLETE MEATHEAD
  • god Xander you are so bad at this sneaking thing
  • this guy looks like someone but I cannot put my finger on who:

  • k good now I can resume the episode, I wasn’t going to move on before figuring that out 😂
  • wow whoops sorry folks, was talking with about the eventual essay I’ll write on Buffy ANYWAYS
  • “private discussions”? Cord, honey, you’re talking loudly in a small computer lab
  • WILLOW YOU TRICKSTER ILU
  • oh they vamped him. I bet they vamped him
  • is it part of the vamps’ plan to just shamble around and look menacing?
  • knew it.
  • oh god this tunnel scene is giving me claustrophobia
  • god I just realized these guys sound exactly like monsters from DOOM
  • DRAMATIC ZOOM ON GILES for no reason
  • oh my god there is PIPE ORGAN in this dramatic vampire crypt music
  • they’re really leaning into the Phantom similarities, aren’t they
  • ah cool cool here’s a dramatic and weirdly homoerotic hand kiss moment cool
  • “my blood is your blood, my soul is your soul”
    …………….k like I was joking about the homoerotic bit two seconds ago but now, jeez
  • did I just witness a gay vampire wedding lmao
  • uh wow this just keeps getting gayer
  • cooooooool, Voldemort, I’m sure the ceiling appreciated you shouting your last couple words at it
  • ohhhhhh Joyce, Joyce, Joyce. you have no idea
  • oh no, that poor bouncer
  • oh man I thought he was gonna die
  • oh wait yeah he’s gonna die
  • of cooooooooooooourse the black guy dies first, *yay*
  • ugh
  • is anybody actually around your man cave to hear you yammering on, Voldy?
  • tbh it wouldn’t surprise me if the dude was talking to himself
  • or just to his ceiling again
  • seriously, these vampires have the world’s worst reflexes
  • of all the vampire attributes the Underworld series had to take and run with, they HAD to choose that one
  • K BUT THAT CYMBAL FRISBEE WAS BALLER
  • YES CATCH HIM MONOLOGUING
  • PRIME MISDIRECTION
  • “it’s in about nine hours, moron” – also
  • Angel WHY are you so useless jfc
  • “the Earth is doomed” – oh Giles, never change
  • I gotta say, I’m really glad they basically split a pilot episode in two
  • they did the plot much better justice that way

There you have it!  To recap the rest of what I said on Twitter:  because this is for a class project and time is somewhat of the essence here, I won’t be livetweeting every single episode.  Instead, I’ll Wikipedia my way through season 1 and then eventually come back with seasons 2 and 3–which I also probably won’t have time to livetweet in their entirety, we’ll see.  But there will be more of this coming your way!  In the meantime, keep an eye on Twitter for more updates on this big ol’ project.  Till next time…

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