Hey all! It’s been another relatively slow excitement week/fast grad school week, but I’m bringing you another update anyway, because oh my sweet lord you all will not believe what happened to me on Sunday afternoon.
I’d spent the whole day inside, working on a term paper, and I was about fed up of being indoors. “Hey, self, you know what would be a great idea?” I thought. “Walking over to the Second Cup in Westdale Village and getting coffee.” So I got dressed and headed out. I was on King, approaching Marion, when I noticed there was a weird traffic snarl up ahead and a lot of people on the sidewalk ahead of me. There was a police officer standing in the middle of the intersection directing traffic, and one of the cars up ahead was at a slightly weird angle, so at first I thought there’d been a car accident. But as I got closer, it didn’t look like anything was actually damaged. “Huh,” I thought, “I guess all these people are just doing their holiday shopping. Supporting small businesses. That’s so nice of them!”
I made it across the street, still a teensy bit confused as to what was going on, and approached a small knot of people, all of whom were standing behind a dude in a bright safety-orange vest. This vest had a neon-yellow X on the back, and on one stripe of the X was written “GOOD WITCH.” As I got closer, I saw that literally everybody was standing still. The people hanging out behind Mr. Orange Vest were just chillin’, and there were people further down the sidewalk just chillin’. Nobody was moving at all.
Honestly, this was the point at which I really should have turned tail and gone back home, because clearly I’d stumbled into something. But unfortunately, three of my several Tragic Flaws(TM) were at play here:
- I can be singleminded as all get-out. When I really want something, like coffee, I’m frelling getting it no matter what.
- I can be PAINFULLY oblivious.
- To put it charitably, I’m inquisitive. To put it uncharitably, I love poking my nose into stuff that has nothing to do with me.
Anyway, I sidled up to a nearby couple and said something like, “So this is the holdup, huh?” I figured they were normal people like me who were temporarily inconvenienced by whatever the heck was going on. They looked at me a little weirdly, and I don’t remember precisely what their reply was, but I got the distinct feeling I was missing something. Unfortunately, these folks didn’t have time to disabuse me of any of my half-baked notions as to what the sitch was, because at that moment, somebody (I think it was Mr. Orange Vest) was like “k, y’all can go now.” So the people around me went, and I went. And this is the fourth-best part of this whole ridiculous story, because somebody (Mr. Orange Vest again?) called out something like “take your time, don’t be in a hurry.” AND I JUST ROLLED WITH IT. It took me about 0.2 seconds to start moseying, easy as you please, even though I literally had no idea what was going on.
I kept moseying down the sidewalk, and it was at this point I noticed one of the shops (don’t remember which one) had been temporarily replaced with a fake shop bearing the marquee “Bell, Book, and Candle.” There was a rack of really cute jackets on the sidewalk near that shop, which initially got my attention. There was also a really attractive guy browsing the rack, which was the second thing to get my attention. I looked through the jackets for a bit and then casually asked him, “So what is this all about?” He looked confused and asked me if I was actually looking at the jackets, and that’s when it hit me:
Literally everybody else in this entire area was an extra, and I was the utter nincompoop who’d wandered right onto set DURING A TAKE, WHILE THE CAMERA WAS ROLLING.
I completely short-circuited, in part because Jesus Woodrow Wilson Christ what have I DONE, and in part because this guy’s face was distracting me big-time, and I just mumbled something like “oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’m just gonna–” and I didn’t even care, I just strolled right outta there, getting in the way of at least three other people in the process but like heck I was sticking around.
The third-best part of the story is that the full extent of my bumbling came to light in front of this ridiculously attractive man, right? The second-best part is that I was wearing SWEATPANTS. I’d almost dressed kind of cute earlier, when I was getting ready to leave the apartment, and then I was like “but sweatpants though.”
And then the best part–guess what else I was wearing?
I literally crashed the set of a TV show, in the middle of a take, while wearing sweatpants and my godforsaken DEERSTALKER.
So yeah, that’s pretty much the most embarrassing thing to happen to me since the Klahom face, and if I somehow make it into the background of this show, I’ll ascend to another plane of existence and scream.
Here ends the story. Till next time!
(P.P.S. The coffee was still totally worth it.)