This is what happens when I try to be social.

Standard

I’ve noticed whenever I have to attend any sort of event that requires me to actually talk to people/not be a total weirdo, I do these same few things every time:

  • Make broad, sweeping gestures that involve jazz hands and plies (simultaneously).
  • Show pictures of my dogs.
  • Turn the topic of conversation to the other person as often as possible so I can just sort of nod and smile.
  • Get something to hold, and hold onto it for dear life.
  • Warn my conversational partner not to get me started talking about Doctor Who, Sherlock, Star Trek, Elementary, or my novels, because I will inevitably go into Critical Fandom Thought mode and ramble on for a ridiculously long time.
  • Joke at least once about how awkward I am.
  • BONUS:  Provide an example of my awkwardness.
  • DOUBLE BONUS:  Provide several examples of my awkwardness.

Yes, I did all these things at the event on Tuesday night.  On the plus side, I managed to not be a total weirdo (apparently), and my speech went quite well. Maybe I can do this whole functioning-adult thing after all. 🙂

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